Borders Sagas 9 - Pet Peeves, Politics, and Nice Guys

OK Walf... here's a blog post! Nice and long, just for you!

It drives me absolutely nuts when...

• Customers ask me where the bathroom is. Really... you can't look yourself. Our store isn't that big. We're a giant box. Look for walls that don't have bookshelves on them. I bet there's a bathroom there. Don't bother me when I'm busy to ask me this stupid question. This happens like 10 times a day!
• Customer come in with no idea what they're looking for. "I'm looking for something for my dad's birthday. He's going to be 65. What do you think?". "There's this new book out, I forget the author, but the title has the word America in it. It's about the goverment". "I'm looking for a CD with songs from the 60's. Do you have any?"
• Customers don't clean up after themselves. If you're going to come into Borders and read our books and magazines without buying them, fine; just don't leave my books in piles on tables, chairs, the floor, on random shelves, or in the bathroom. I'm not even asking you to put them backon the shelf! Just walk over to the Info Desk and give them to me. I'll make sure they go back in the right place. It sucks when you're trying to find a book for a customer but can't find it on the shelf because some idiot customer left it in the cafe or shoved it on the wrong shelf. Unless you know for sure where they go, don't do anything. You're only going to cause more trouble for me and the other sellers. Come to the Info Desk, say "I was just looking at these and I don't think I'm going to get them. I don't want to put them back in the wrong place, so I was hoping you might be able to do it". I won't get mad... I promise!! And don't leave behind your Starbucks latte cups either! Book shelf does not equal trash can!
• Customers ask if I work here. Does the name badge plastic thing hanging from my neck not give it away? How about the walkie-talkie head set I wear?
• Customers get mad at me for things beyond my control. Sorry, but it was Corporate's decision to close the cafe at 6:00, to mandate a receipt for returns, to only allow returns within 30 days of purchase, to end the practice of special ordering books for customers, and to not be able to match the prices of competitors. Yelling at me isn't going to change anything. You're going to make me angry and I will not try to help you.

OK, venting over...

So, being the Corporate Sales person, I have my own store email account! Nicole.bauman@bordersstores.com! I use it to email "clients". Way cool!

I think it's funny when people try to protest against politcal figures by doing things to our merchandise. The other day, Beckie found a stack of Barack Obama wall calendars hidden behind a bunch of cat calendars. A couple nights ago, I found that all the Glen Beck books that we have on the shelves that face out were flipped around so that all you saw as you walked by was the plain back cover. Michelle Malkin's anti-Obama book was hidden under a stack of about 6 other books on our front table the other night. Crazy people.

I was "yoohoo-ed" this morning by a little old lady. I was shelving books when I hear "Oh, yoohoo, miss." I didn't think anybody said "yoohoo" in real life anymore!

I guess horny men masterbating to pictures of naked women in our bathrooms was getting to be a real problem, so Borders has started putting security sensors on our dirty magazines. Now, unknowing horn-dogs who try to sneak a Playboy into the mensroom will get caught red handed when our security alarm goes off! Gotcha!

I got my first cafe tip the other day! $1.00! Go Nicki!

I'd like to think that I'm really exercising while I'm working. Each night that I close, I have to flip the cafe's 50 chairs onto the tables, and those chairs are kinda heavy. Good arm workout. And books can be heavy too. Especially when you have to carry them, and shelve them, and push them around. And sometimes shelving can feel like I'm in an aerobic step class. Bend over. Grab books from bottom shelf. Step up onto stool. Lift books in the air. Place books on top shelf. Step down. Bend over. Grab books. Step up on stool. Lift books in the air. Place books in top shelf. Step down. Repeat. Over. And over. I try to powerwalk when I'm walking around the store. Sometimes I forget that old people are slow and I lose them. It's not until I turn around to give the book to the customer when I realize that he/she isn't behind me. This happens a lot actually. I want to get a pedometer so I can see how many steps I take in a day. I probably walk, like, a lot.

Tuesday, I was walking back to the info desk after helping a customer, and I see a guy there searching on one of our computers. I asked him if he needed any help, and he turned around to look at me, and I see that it looks like he survived some serious accident! On his head, there are scars that are straight lines where his hair doesn't grow from stitches. His left eyelid is like fused closed. I could tell he had a tracheotomy because of the scar visible just above his shirt collar. His left arm has pink scars. But beyond that, he is really handsome. Green eye, blonde hair. Tall. A little muscular. He was looking for GRE books, so I took him to the section. He told me that he lived in Ohio, was almost done with grad school, and got hit by a car. He was in a coma for nearly two months. Brain surgery (hence the head scars) and eyeball rupture (hence the left eyelid) A combination of way expensive medical bills and missing more than 7 months of school forced him to dropped out. After his accident, he decided that he wanted to become a therapist for children who were in comas and suffered brain damage. Although he already took the GRE and was enrolled in a grad program in Ohio, UF wants him to re-take the GRE, just to make sure that his brain is functioning enough. As we were looking for study guides, he kept making jokes about the fact that he only has one eye. They were like, "It's sometimes hard for me to find things being that I only have one eye" or "Here's a book. Oh wait, it's for the GMAT. Man I can't see straight. Maybe it's because I don't have two eyes". He was so cool!

We didn't know what study book was the best, so he said that he'll go home, do research, and come back. He asked me when I was working next. I told him Thursday (today), and he said he'll see me then. I could tell that he was being all flirty, and I guess my bubbly-ness wasn't helping the situation. After he left, I started thinking about what might happen if he came back Thursday. If he got all flirty again, should I tell him that I have a boyfriend? Would he think that I was lying to him just to avoid going out with him? Am I getting ahead of myself? Uggg.

Anyways, sure enough, he came in today while I was working. He asked for my help again, so we went back to look at GRE study books. We talked for a while and I tried to restrain my friendliness. He asked if he would be able to study in the store on some days so he could ask me questions about the test (I told him I took the GRE over the summer). If another customer hadn't walked up to ask for help, I think he would have stuck around to talk some more. I was back at the Info Desk when he was paying, and as he was walking out the door, he turned around to smile and wave at me. He had a really nice smile. I hope he finds someone who isn't shallow and all about appearances, because on the inside, I could tell that he is an amazing person!

Long post. Time for Alias! Season 2 Disc 5!

PS: Walf, I hope you're satisfied! This should have kept you entertained for like 5 minutes!