Whole Foods Stories

Here are a few stories from work that I've collected over the past couple weeks...

Whole Foods has their own vocabulary. We aren't called "employees", we're called Team Members. I am a CSTM, a Customer Service Team Member. We don't have "managers", we have Team Leaders. Jennifer is my Customer Service TL. Blake is the STL, Store Team Leader. Each department of the store has their own TMs and TLs.

Our employee discount percentages are determined by how healthy we are. Everyone starts at 20%. Once a year, a company comes in and gives each person a physical. They test for blood pressure, cholesterol, body mass index, and if we smoke or not. After the results come in, you can either get a 22, 25, 27, or 30% discount. The testing in coming up, and I'm hoping for at least 25%!

There is this guy that lives in his car in our parking lot. He comes in and buy milk and/or orange juice. I've never seen him get anything else. I've been told that he uses the men's room to wash his hair, brush his teeth, sponge clean himself, and clean his plates, cups, and silverware. I see him at the library sleeping and reading. He always wears the same outfit. I guess since he's not bothering anyone, no one has bothered to call the cops about him. He's kinda nice when I ring him up.

One of our customers has extreme germaphobia and OCD. He comes in wearing three pairs of surgical gloves already on his hands. When he touches something, he takes off his outter layer of gloves and puts on another pair. He comes in with a box of garbage bags, and each item he plans on buying goes inside its own bag. When he comes over to check out, he doesn't take his stuff out of the garage bags, nor does put his bags on the counter or conveyor belt. He holds out each bag and tries to smooth the plastic over the bar code so I can scan it with the pricegun. Because he holds his stuff about two feet away from the price gun, the gun doesn't work, so he has to read the UPC number to me. He only pays in cash. He'll drop the money in my hands without getting his hand remotely close to mine. His money will often be wet. I'm hoping it's because he washes it. He won't take change, so he pays in singles and gets the amount down to the penny. Some people I work with will fake sneeze or cough when they see him because they think it's funny. It makes me sad. Before he comes in, he'll call the store and ask if Diana, Bre, or I'm working because he knows that we're nice to him.

A 5-year old boy came around the register area and smacked my butt. His mom appologized and said that he does that to girls he thinks are cute.

A conversation between me and a 50-ish year old guy. I've just finished ringing him up.
Him: I looks like this is the perfect job for you.
Me: Oh really?
Him: Yeah. This place has wholesome, naturally good foods, and you're just naturally beautiful.
Me: Oh, thank you. I like working here.
Him: Do you get a lunch break soon? Maybe we can get something to eat later.
Me: Oh, I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much. But thanks anyways.
Him: Well, if you ever wanted to get lunch, I'm always shopping here. Just let me know.
Me: Uh, ok, have a great afternoon.

Another conversation between me and a 40-ish year old guy. I'm standing by my register.
Him: This store is so clean and nice. Are you the one that keeps it so nice?
Me: No, that's not me. I can't take the credit on that one.
Him: Well, you must take the credit for something.
Me: I do my best keeping the register area and customer service booth tidy. But everyone works together.
Him: Oh ok. Well, the reason I can over here to talk to you is because I saw you from across the store and I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really beautiful.
Me: Oh, thank you.
Him: I'm going to finish my shopping, but I would love to talk to you more.
Me: Oh, sure. OK.
(I was lucky enough the escape to the back for a while, so I didn't have to see him again.)

Every day at Whole Foods is an adventure.