Mom, dad, and my brothers were in Gainesville for a little bit last Tuesday. They had tickets to a Yankees spring training game in Tampa, and they wanted to stop by to pick up some of my unnecessary stuff (winter clothes, some books) to bring back to Wellington. It will be less for me to bring back later.
I really wanted to talk to mom and dad about maybe not coming back home immediately. I'm having fun here in Gainesville. I have friends here. I go out dancing. I hang out and have movie nights with friends. I have independence to do whatever I want. I want to stay here for as long as I want. I know that once I get back home, I won't have anything to do and it will be sad. I don't want to be told when I leave when I want to stay for maybe a little bit longer. And I want to see if I can be independent for once.
My parents said I can stay in Gainesville if I can satisfy the following conditions:
A1) Find a full-time job or a legit career-type job. Borders and the money I'm making there isn't going to cut it.
and/or
A2) "Re-tool" my education. Go back to school. Get a graduate degree. Follow through with law school. Maybe even get another 4-year degree in something practical.
B) Find a place to live that doesn't lock me into a long-term lease. My current lease ends at the end of May, so if I stay, I'll have to find a new place to live. My parents don't want me to get a one-year lease because if I can't find a new job or make up my mind about schooling, then I have to come home and I can't be responsible for a Gainesville apartment I won't be living in.
Parents are giving me until May to figure something out.
Chris is leaving in 3 days. I cry a lot. We'll be sitting on the couch watching tv and he will start to rub my back and I'll start to cry because I'll be thinking about how I'm going to miss him. I'll be getting dressed for work and he'll tell me that I look beautiful, and then I'll start to cry because I'll miss all his compliments and the way he looks at me. Snuggling in bed is the worst. I'm even crying right now as I write this. Our 5-year anniversary is May 2nd, so for 5 years, we've spent nearly every day together. I'm going to miss kissing him a million times a day, and hugging him when I get home from work, and resting my head on his chest when we watch tv. I realized how much I've taken all of these moments for granted. He'll be in Miami until August, but after that, he'll be on his island. It'll be like seeing everyday, to seeing him a couple days a month when he's in Miami, to seeing hime hopefully for Christmas and spring break when he's on the island. I'm probably being so over-dramatic or over-emotional, but I can't help it. I love Chris too much.
I am so glad you talked to your parents about this. Just that event proves you can be independent, you are taking charge of your happiness. :)
ReplyDeleteIs Law school the only option for your degree? MJ says you should look into Publix. They are a fortune 100 company and love people with your degree.
Having been in a long-distance for years now, I will honestly tell you that it is not easy. I completely understand your frequent crying. Even now when we see each other every few weekends I can't help but tear up when I have to drive back to Philly. 5 years is a long time though and you have tons of memories to remind you of all the things you've done together. And you will get to see him and it makes those times together even more special. It certainly has its challenges, BUT I wanted to share with you some of the things that I've found to be helpful and even a little bit beneficial to being quasi-on my own the majority of the time.
ReplyDelete-You will gain independence. and from what you've been blogging lately, seems like something you want. You had Chris with you for all of college, so now is your time to do some personal growth. You'll be able to make all your own decisions without having to consult anyone else. (ie. You can stay out without worrying about checking in; you can have ice cream for dinner and no one is going to know :)
-since you won't be seeing each other every day, you'll have plenty of stuff to talk about and fill him in on when you do chat. Plus, I think the boys like when we have our own interests and things going on in our lives. Confidence is sexy.
-Webcam or skype. because sometimes you just need to see their face.
-I became a prolific letter writer and care package sender. Its fun and something tells me that you're also the type who will enjoy this.
-if you do end up going back to school, you won't have a distraction to getting work done. I honestly think my college career was dramatically different because I wasn't having to also contend with the bf all the time.
So hang in there, Nicki! If you ever want to vent or need someone who understands the distance thing, call me up! and don't forget... Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I totally agree with Shannon that just talking to your parents, being honest and open shows that you can be independent. If you want to stay in Gainesville, at least over the summer to try to figure something out (job, school, etc.) look in the alligator for summer subleases! There are always good deals because people don't want to stay for the summer and don't want to have to pay rent when they're not there.
ReplyDeleteYou could maybe talk to a professor you had or an advisor from your department about what options you have as far as jobs. Or if you're not really passionate about your major or law school, you could talk to just a general advisor about getting back into classes to figure out what you want to do.
You still have time before your lease is up to try to set something up! Let me know if I can help with anything :)